A few pages of my story board for my final idea. They are all in number order from top to bottom (I thought I'd mention it seeing as I numbered them using Kanji rather than roman numerals). They're 2 pages out of 10. The idea is that the mouse looses its lunch and so chases after it. The reason the call center is called Mousehole is because it's based on a real place in Cornwall.
Because my mouse gets trapped inside a photocopier, I looked up images on what the inside of said machine looks like.
My final idea for my essay is Slumdog Millionaire.
Interim Online Review 16/02/2010
ReplyDeleteHi Charlotte,
It's clear that you've taken my feedback onboard and that you're keeping me and everyone much more updated as you progress your story idea; that said, in terms of the resolution of your story, I do have my conceptual concerns and a few questions. You were asked to have your full 3 act story structure uploaded for today, but all I can see here is the Act 1 set-up. Therefore, I'm left wondering about the way in which your utilising your environment and the 'juggler' component. It seems we have a mouse who gets stuck in a photocopier (that just happens to be in a call centre... bit weak?) - can I assume that, in later scenes you make more of your story components? It would have been good to see a clear statement of intent. Also, your decision to use Japanese numericals is pretty bizarre, Charlotte! The prime job of a storyboard is to communicate to as many people as possible (i.e. the production team), so it should be crystal clear to everyone and not require an explanation! You have to steer clear of this kind of quirk in this kind of context. There are rules, conventions and formulas - and with good reason; in this instance, your job is to conform to them! Can I suggest you resolve your 3 act structure asap and get it posted so I can better see how you intend to progress?
Danny Boyle's Slumdog has some wonderful montage editing; please see the next 2 comments for general guidance re. the written assignment.
“1,500 word written assignment that analyses critically one film in terms of the relationship between story and structure; you should consider camera movement, editing, and the order of scenes”
ReplyDeleteWhile the essay questions asks you to analyse one film in terms of the relationship between story and structure, you are nonetheless expected to contextualise your analysis – and that means you have to widen your frame of reference to include discussion of other, related films and associated ideas – and also the ‘time-line’ within which your case-study sits.
So, for example, if you are focusing on a scene in a contemporary film which makes dramatic use of montage editing and quick-fire juxtaposition of imagery (the fight scenes in Gladiator, the beach landings in Saving Private Ryan, the bird attacks in The Birds…) no discussion of this scene would be complete without you first demonstrating your knowledge of the wider context for your analysis – i.e., the ‘invisible editing’ approach as championed by W.D. Griffith, and the alternate ‘Eisensteinian’ collisions adopted by Russian filmmakers (and now absorbed into the grammar of mainstream movies). In order to further demonstrate your appreciation for the ‘time-line’ of editing and its conventions, you should make reference to key sequences in key films – ‘The Odessa Steps sequence’ from Sergei Eistenstein’s Battleship Potemkin (as in scene in the Cutting Edge documentary, but also viewable here in full
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps-v-kZzfec
Also – if further proof were needed of the influence of this scene, watch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yH1tO2D3LCI&feature=related
The Cutting Edge documentary, as shown on Monday 15th Feb, is viewable on YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJcQgQHR78Q
If you choose to quote from any of the ‘talking head’ sections (Ridley Scott, Walter Murch etc.), in support of your discussion, ensure you put the documentary’s original details in your bibliography (as opposed to the You Tube url). For official title and release date etc. visit
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cutting-Edge-Magic-Editing-Region/dp/B0009PVZEG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1266311784&sr=1-1
Put simply, whatever film you choose to discuss, you will need to link it to its ‘ancestors’ and also, where appropriate, to its ‘children’ – i.e., what influenced it/what it influenced.
Regarding the ‘language of editing etc.’ the following site is useful – if ugly!
http://www.aber.ac.uk/media/Documents/short/gramtv.html
I suggest you use it only as a starting point for focusing your research parameters – not as the fount of all knowledge (it isn’t!).
Something that keeps coming up is how to cite websites using the Harvard Method:
GO HERE!!!!! IT’S GOT ALL THE ANSWERS!
http://www.ucreative.ac.uk/index.cfm?articleid=25881
Stylistically, many students’ essays still lack the required formality and tone for a University level written assignment. Many of you write as if you’re ‘chatting’ to your reader or writing a blog entry. This is inappropriate and you need to cultivate a more appropriate style if your discussions are to be authoritative and properly presented. Below are some suggestions re. use of language; take note and use!
ReplyDeleteUse good, formal English and grammar,
see: http://www.ucl.ac.uk/internet-grammar/home.htm
Use objective language: e.g. rather than 'I find it difficult to identify ...'
'It is often difficult to identify...'
'It can be seen that...
'There are a number of...'
Adopt a cautious academic style; avoid conclusive statements: e.g. use may, might, it seems that, appears to, possibly, probably, seemingly, the evidence suggests that, it could be argued that, research indicates...
Avoid assumptions and generalisations: e.g. everyone can see, everybody knows, public opinion is...
If you make a statement, always present evidence to support it.
Within your essay you will be hoping to demonstrate or prove something. You will have a point of view that you wish to convey to your reader. In other words, your essay should 'say' something.
You should support what you wish to say with a reasoned argument and evidence.
A reasoned argument consists of a series of logical steps you make in order to lead to a point where you can form some sort of judgement on the issue you have been examining, or come to some sort of conclusion.
Paragraphs are organised in order to build your argument in a series of logical steps
A typical paragraph is concerned with a single step in your argument
The first sentence of a paragraph is the topic sentence. It clearly states which step in your argument you intend to deal with in this paragraph
Subsequent sentences explain, define and expand upon the topic sentence
Evidence is offered
Evidence is commented on
A conclusion may be reached
Try to make each paragraph arise out of the previous paragraph and lead into the subsequent one
Below are some useful ‘linking’ words and phrases that suit the formal tone of an academic assignment – get used to using them to structure clear, articulate and confident sounding sentences.
To indicate timescales:
when, while, after, before, then
To draw conclusions:
because, if, although, so that, therefore
To offer an alternative view:
however, alternatively, although, nevertheless, while
To support a point:
or, similarly, incidentally
To add more to a point:
also, moreover, furthermore, again, further, what is more, in addition, then
besides, as well
either, not only, but also, similarly, correspondingly, in the same way, indeed
with respect to, regarding
To put an idea in a different way:
in other words, rather, or, in that case
in view of this, with this in mind
to look at this another way
To introduce and use examples:
for instance, for example, namely, an example of this is
such as, as follows, including
especially, particularly, notably
To introduce an alternative viewpoint:
by contrast, another way of viewing this is, alternatively, again, rather, another possibility is..
conversely, in comparison, on the contrary, although, though
To return to emphasise an earlier point:
however, nonetheless, despite, in spite of
while.. may be true
although, though, at the same time, although.. may have a good point
To show the results of the argument:
therefore, accordingly, as a result
so, it can be seen that
resulting from this, consequently, now
because of this, hence, for this reason, owing to, this suggests that, it follows that
in other words, in that case, that implies
To sum up or conclude:
therefore, in conclusion, to conclude, on the whole
to summarise, to sum up, in brief, overall, thus
Phil sorry this is my fault, Charlotte has completed the three acts, she is on with putting the other acts up RIGHT NOW.
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